13 February, 2012

A Playlist—Sing Me To Sleep


Check out my impressive penmanship, y’all.  Similar things can happen to you if you’re also tired of hearing about Boyle’s Law or Charle’s Law or Gay-Lussac’s Law in Chemistry (P1 and V2 and T1 yes yes yes, I understand).  Did you like how I suddenly became a shrilly teenager just there?  Beware, it happens.

I was told recently, by a person who I’m sure meant well, that I should be ashamed for every tear that I shed if I’m not genuinely upset over something tragic.  “Did your grandma die recently?  Go ahead, cry about that.”  I’m doing this thing where I try to process what I want to respond before I actually say it, to save me from some cruel embarrassment, and I figured that what I was going to say to this person was going to be quite mean and full of childish exclamations, so I kept to myself, deciding it was not worth any sort of confrontation, and walked away.

I think this is a silly philosophy to carry around with you.  Show of hands, who’s been told this before?  You must be upset over something that is generally considered tragic to cry?  My dad told me this as a child all of the time:  “Why are you crying?  Why are you crying, are you a little baby?  Did you fall of your bike?  Did you get a cut?  Did something sad happen?  No, no, and no?  Then there’s no need to cry, you’re not a little baby.”

EDIT: I just googled “crying without cause” and it led me to a Depression Forum.  Oops.

Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but it’s a philosophy that I’ve carried around with me that you’re allowed to cry, even if you don’t know why you want to cry.  Even if something tragic hasn’t happened (for goodness sake, watch ‘Lily’s Disneyland Surprise’ and tell me if you didn’t cry—is it tragic?  No, but it’s tragic if you didn’t cry).

One of my goals is to ride on a train by myself and melodramatically sit in the window seat and look out into the view and just cry.  (Just like in the films!)

I cried myself to sleep last night—why, I can’t pinpoint exactly—and I thought that I could compose a certain playlist with certain songs that would certainly make me cry myself to sleep.  I remember the first time I listened to ‘Holocene’—when it was first released on the internet— I had it on repeat and I cried myself to sleep that night.

Music is so fantastic.  Just think about it.  Music is just so…  great.


  1. I definitely have songs that make me cry, I don't think it's wrong to cry at things and not know why, it's just unfortunate when it happens in an awkward situations!


  2. a really wonderful playlist! and I love the fact that you are so natural and so sympa, wonderful! Thanks so much for your nice comment on my blog, I'm a new follower of yours - I'm as "nerd" as you are, even worse, I love classic music and opera ;-)

    xxx Anita

  3. I love making playlists!! And I spot some of my favorites on yours! :) So great that Bon Iver won Best New Artist at the Grammys! :)

  4. Thank you.
    You are so right, I miss Paris, too

  5. CRYING WITHOUT CAUSE. It's a thing I do. I kind of like it. So there.

  6. I incidentally found your playlist on 8tracks earlier than your blogpost on here. But I like this one too! (just like the one before!)

    I guess crying without a cause isn't bad, I think it's a great stress reliever... crying I mean. Music too, in a way. But I like crying a lot more when it is not because of someone died. That's the bad crying that gets you all weary and 'meh'. The good crying leaves you relieved.

    And I love, (as in, seriously like-like), your handwritten playlist-thing-y. It's so nineties in a good way. :D

    1. "It's so nineties in a good way."
      Allow me to cry in a corner for the best compliment received ever.

  7. dude, i totally agree, i cry all the time about ridiculous things and kind of weirdly enjoy it - it's like spring-cleaning your whole head! also, great playlist - though when i read the title i immediately thought of 'asleep' by the smiths then got sad it wasn't on there, haha x

    1. I was going to include it, but I added it to my "Running Away" playlist, and figure that someone would want to knock me off my chair for including it twice in a row (it hurt my heart when I clicked "publish playlist" and it wasn't in it!)

  8. Awesome playlist!

    Nothing wrong with the occasional cry without a cause.

    xx, S.

  9. When I was in the states, my friend wrote me a letter when I was leaving, and one of the things he wrote said "music is just so... great" almost exactly the way you put it. Music is... amazing, well, at least the effects it can have on us are.

    I have cried so many times in my life, SOO many, but I had reasons most of the time, my life was pretty tragic for a long time. I've cried so intensely, for so long, to the point that my head literally hurt, proceeded to feel numb and then I would just kind of stare off into space, like someone had stole my consciousness. Ah, sad memories.

    But no, of course you don't need a reason. Crying is a very natural, automatic, human response to something, even if that something is subconscious and you don't know what it's about. Tears have natural painkillers.

  10. Crying is more than an expression of sadness - and of tragedy. Sometimes you need to cry just because, and then you should cry. Holding tears inside of you can't ever be a better choice. A good cry every once in a while is good for your health. Like a good laugh.

  11. This is a lovely playlist, I'm really looking forward to listening to it- I love finsing new music. Bon Iver is amazing, so I absolutely want to listen to what else you've recommended :D

  12. really cool music list! great to listening to debussy!


Thank you, pal.